Commercial Ideas for CMS Linux

Prepared ideas

• "Blue Screens"
• "Oh Shoot!"
• "This is your Computer"
• "Political Break"

Additional ideas

• Blue Screen Bumper Sticker
• "Oh Shoot!" with a videotaped actor.
• "Expired License"
  Split screen shot of two women on the phone.

  Woman 1:	Hello?
  Woman 2:	You, me, bar hopping this weekend?
  Woman 1:	I wish I could afford to.
  Woman 2:	Didn't you just get a raise?
  Woman 1:	Yeah, but then the license for my operating system expired. Now I can't even use my own computer until I pay another two-hundred bucks.
  Woman 2:	You need to get Linux.
  Woman 1:	How often do I have to pay two-hundred bucks to keep using that?
  Woman 2:	You don't... ever.

• "Recovery"
  Darkened room with a man whose face cannot be identified.
  "I used to use it. I used it every day. Everyone else was using it. Never thought it could happen to me. I used to spend hundreds of dollars at a time just to face one devastating crash after another. I was hopeless. Then one day a penguin showed me the way out. I'm on the road to recovery, now. I haven't seen a blue screen in months and I feel great! Thanks, Tux."
• "Normal Part of Driving"
  Video clips of cars crashing
  On screen text: "You don't consider this a normal part of driving."
  Switch to a blue screen.
  Error message: "Why do you consider this a normal part of computing?"
• "Burglary"
  Cop arrives at a burglary victim's house

  Victim:	(in a panic) I'm glad you're here. They got everything: my TV, VCR, DVD player, my entire computer system.
  Cop:	Calm down. Do you have insurance?
  Victim:	Of course I have insurance... and I backup my computer data regularly, but I've got personal financial records on that system... not to mention adult multimedia files I don't want falling into the hands of some kid.
  Cop:	You don't store that stuff on an encrypted partition?!?
  Victim:	The software to do that stuff is so expensive.
  Cop:	It's less expensive than identity theft. (hands victim a note) You might be interested in this.
  Victim:	CMS Linux?
  Cop:	It has built-in support for encrypted filesystems... and it only costs fifteen dollars... and you can get rid of blue screens for good.
  Victim:	Thanks.
  Cop:	Now for the burglary paperwork.

• Worse Day
  

  (facing user) Blue light from monitor shines on user's face. User makes a P/Oed face and pounds keyboard with fist. (facing computer) User stands up and takes monitor off of computer case. User walks around desk, picks up an ax, puts ax into top of computer. (blue screen goes away) User takes 2 more chops at computer. User walks away. (blue screen comes back on)

  (voice-over) "So what if your software is defective? That doesn't mean you have to take it out on your hardware. Replace that defective operating system with CMS Linux from CyberMan Software for just fifteen bucks and say, 'goodbye,' to blue screens forever."

• Exorcism
  A priest exorcises the demon from a computer. (blue screen of death turns into Tux logo)
• Home Invasion
  

  Woman steps out of shower wearing a towel. She sees a strange man in her apartment, grabs a hairbrush, points the brush at him and screams.
  Woman:	Who are you and what are you doing in my apartment?
  Man:	I'm just checking your apartment for stolen property.
  Woman:	What?!?
  Man:	It's part of your rental agreement.
  Voice over:	You wouldn't let somebody barge into your apartment whenever they want, so why let somebody barge into your computer whenever they want?
  Text scrolls on screen:	FACT: By using Windows XP you give Microsoft permission to scan your computer for pirated music and software. (Source: Windows XP EULA.)
  Man:	(Holds up CD case labelled "MP3's") We're just gonna bill you for legal copies of these.

• Test Drive
  A new car with no front license plate pulls into a parking space.

  Dealer (passenger):	So, what do you think?
  Customer (driver):	It's OK, but could you put the wiper control on the left side of the wheel, the headlights on the dashboard, upgrade the engine to a V8, make it rear wheel drive?
  Dealer:	Uh?!?
  Customer:	... and chop the top.

  Text on screen reads: "Linux users are used to having lots of options."